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| anyone recognize the quote? well, enough with the guessing games then, i was watching Fight Club last night(caught it about a half hour in, on tv, so i need to see it for realZ to get the full effect, i know) so yeah, thats where the quote is from. I love Chuck Palahniuk, actually am almost obsessed with his words sometimes because i find them so witty and just downright amazing. but thats neither here nor there. So i just really want to see the movie in full because i read the book and just want to see the movie to go with it, i just never have time(yes, i do have 2 straight days to read a book in its entirety and i don't have 2 hours to watch movies, get over it) so anyway, of the parts of the movie i saw, one part really caught my attention. First, the part where Tyler goes into the convenience store and forces out the little asian guy with a gun and tells him he's going to kill him if he doesnt go to veterinary school. can you imagine what you would do if you were in this situation? and you had someone forcing you at gunpoint to fulfill your dreams? What would the world be like if everyday, everyone checked off something on their list of things to do before they die? What would life be like if everyone lived everyday like it was there last? If i could pick only one thing to do before i die, i would want to write a national bestseller. What would you do? | | |
| As I do every once in a while, today I went on the daunting journey of surfing the New York Times website to check out some current events. Theres so much news out there, so at least once or twice a week i'll look around at news websites, so i know whats going on in the world. Anyway, one article i found today really sparked my interest, it's an article about education reform and lowering the percentage of students that drop out of high school. Heres the link, if youre at all interested : http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/01/obama-takes-aim-at-school-dropout-rates/?pagemode=print&scp=2&sq=turnaround&st=cse If you aren't interested in reading it, well, it basically states that President Obama "proposed creating a system to improve how states evaluate the success or failure of schools," and he also "proposed giving $900 million in federal grants to states and school districts that agree to turn around – or, in some cases, close – the 2,000 schools across the country that produce more than half of the nation’s dropouts." This entire idea just seems completely ridiculous to me. Not that I don't believe something should be done about the nations educational system, because it needs to be fixed greatly. But giving $900 million in grants to schools that "turn around" or close? Aside from the obvious question of where the money is coming from, if a school is closed, what are they going to do with this grant they receive? Second, why are these schools getting money for students not dropping out and producing high school graduates? This article also states that this $900 million "follows $3.5 billion included in last year’s economic stimulus plan that was aimed at helping boost the performance of schools." In my opinion, the government is dishing out money it doesn't have, for no reason and i just think(given the information presented in the article) that the plan has flaws. Such as : closing schools and forcing children to tranfer to other high schools in the district or another nearby district is going to cause overcrowding in high schools, and students that are normally doing well are going to get less attention from teachers because of bigger class sizes, and therefore more people will produce less. Also, sometimes, the problem isn't within the students. A lot of times problems stem from ineffective teachers who are there for a paycheck, Parents that don't give a damn about their kids education, and communities that encourage and allow kids to drop out of high school. Legally, when I was 16 i could have called it quits and not have gotten a high school diploma. However, i can just imagine me telling my parents that i was quitting school and most likely they would have picked me up out of my bed every day and whether i was in my pajamas or not, they would have drove me to school and personally walked me to class. kids that dropout- where are their parents or guardians and why are they allowing them to drop out? Another problem that i see is all of this money. A high school diploma will get you farther in life than no high school diploma, a high school diploma can be obtained for free. An associates, bachelors, masters, doctorate, etc. degree will open even more and more job opportunities for someone, and how much does this cost? And how many people in this country can even afford it? yet, the cost of my college tuition raises every year. I guess what i'm trying to say overall, is that for students to not want to drop out, they should be encouraged not to and in my opinion they just shouldnt be allowed to, it shouldnt even be an option. and some of the billions of dollars being spent on high school education, should fund colleges and produce scholarships for those people in need of money for college. Maybe this is just me, but i've been working since i was 16, my parents both work, i got decent(not outstanding) grades (A's,B's, an occasional C) and based on my undergrad studies alone, i'll be paying off my debt for many years after I finish. Why arent we spending money on more logical things? Why is the government making ridiculous decisions regarding high students? | | |
| It's almost Valentines Day, i made a valentines day themed big top cupcake. I've been glued to Nicholas Sparks novels/movies. I read blogs and books and magazine articles about dating, love and relationships on the regular. I'm sure to those people who don't know me, its starting to sound like i'm in love, or im a hopeless romantic. Thankfully, i'm neither. (hopeless maybe...hopelessly sexy ,that is.) Truth is - I hate Valentines Day. I hate people wishing me a Happy Valentines Day. I hate people asking me what i'm doing for it, i hate people telling me what they're doing for it. I enjoy Nicholas Sparks, cuz its always a fun, simple read that i get through in a day or two, depending on how much time i have. However, most of the premises to his novels are that these people are madly in love with this one perfect amazing person, someone ends up dying, or someone cant end up totally happy. and dammit when im reading fiction i want everything to be sunshine and f'ing roses because life isnt. I hate that i read these novels because they make me second guess myself. All the time, i'm hearing that i'll never forget my first love, they'll always have a piece of my heart. fuck that. i dont know what any of my ex's that i supposedly "loved" are doing with their lives right now, and frankly i dont care. I mean sure, if they called me and needed me for something... no, i probably wouldnt answer, youre right. because all of that was a long time ago, a different chapter of my life. anyway, the question i'm begging here is : is love a real thing? Is it possible be in love with myself so much that i find it impossible to love anyone else?(see: narcissism) Is love something that's only invented in books and movies, as well as in our minds? Could it be possible that "love" is all a fraud? That we could be in relationships with people and not see what it actually is (see: relationshiT) but believe we are madly in love with someone, who actually sucks? People say, when we're with "the one" we'll know it. Well i thought i knew i was with someone special a few times. not even close. My opinion is, maybe it is out there. maybe i'm just being negative(see: cynical, see also: bitter, but still hawt). Maybe I thought I've felt such things and they turned out to be fake. Maybe i've read so many love stories as well as so many true accounts of other people views on love and i find myself in disbelief. I find myself confused as to what its supposed to be, and what it actually is. What are your opinions? Do you think love exists somewhere past the lustful world in which we live? | | |
| "They say if you're not lonely alone, boy there is something wrong."
Yesterday, someone had this as their facebook status. It got me thinking a lot about myself and the past few years. In the past, probably since like freshman year of college sometime, being alone is all i have known. i dont mean in the relationship sense(although thats pretty much true too) but i mean in the sense of feeling alone, or just truly never having anyone around, never having someone to talk to because you dont know whos going to tell who what. Of course there have been times when it felt so much worse than others. Mostly last fall was when it was worst and when it actually bothered me. but anymore, i dont find it to be so bad. Of course there are some days that i wish i wasnt so alone, but in general, im completely happy just being by myself. many times i even prefer just sitting around alone.
i wonder if there really is something wrong with me for not being lonely alone? Im not sure why i'd be lonely, if i am happy with myself, i just keep myself company and who wouldnt wanna be in the company of themselves? If you cant stand yourself then how will anyone else be able to stand being around you?
sometimes i feel like its not fair. like im not being fair. i really enjoy helping people and talking to them when they are upset or have a problem because i feel like its unfair that i could feel so completely happy all the time while someone else is sad or something. like why should i feel this happy when there isnt even anything big to be happy about, just happy about being alive really. honestly, my life isnt perfect, i make mistakes, i procrastinate, like right now i have a paper due tomorrow at 6pm and i havent even started it yet, i'll probably get a horrible grade on it, my grades are usually mediocre and i do the bare minimum to get a 3.0. im the most unorganized person ever and i lose everything, i have good days and bad days, but when theres a bad day, somehow its just so easy for me to turn off the bad feelings and just be completely happy again. i sometimes feel like all of this just isnt fair. and i just wish everyone could be happy with their lives. you cant trade yours in for another, you can only work to change the things you dont like, forget the people that are assholes, and accept the mistakes youve made. i just wish everyone could be happy with themselves. then i think they wouldnt feel lonely alone.
Listen- John Mayer - Perfectly Lonely<3
sorry if i dont make sense sometimes. i usually just write, i dont edit my own stuff, and i dont proof read. it happensssssss | | |
| in the time i havent been on xanga, ive been writing in a different blog. however, i decided to come back and use this one instead because i just plainly didnt like the other one or understand it. so, im going to try and put some time into posts, comments would be great cuz id love to hear from people!! | | |
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